My grandfather always said, “When one door closes, another opens.” Lovely man … terrible cabinet maker.

As you get older, you need to stay positive. For example, the other day, I fell down the stairs. Instead of getting upset, I just thought, “Wow, that’s the fastest I’ve moved in years.”

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

– unknown

I am not overweight. I am a nutritional overachiever

– unknown

The only exercise I do is diddly squats.

– unknown