I thought I saw a spider, but it was just a piece of yarn. It’s dead yarn now.

– unknown

My GPS has learned to say “Your Other Left!”

– unknown

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

– unknown

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym this morning. That’s seven years in a row.

– unknown

I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect.” Whenever I forget, it will tell me: “Your password is incorrect.”

– unknown