The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to … to …. uh …

I joined a health club last year. Spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right place.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

When I was in school, I read mystery books – algebra, geometry …