Sign at an antique store: “Come in and buy what your grandmother once threw away.”

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.

I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now